A Tale of Two Rices

SCENE: A FATHER is TELLING A BEDTIME STORY TO HIS SON.

“Once upon a time, there were two girls named Rice. They were attractive, smart, and important. But they weren’t exactly the same.

You see, Big Rice believed bad things. She even worked for a big, bad man who also believed in naughty ideas. She helped work for these naughty ideas. She also stood up against racist people throughout her life, but she was still bad.

Because of this, the nice Democrats who thought she was a bad girl wanted to punish her, so when a college invited her to come give a happy talk to their graduates, some people got mad. Really, really mad.

They wrote letters, protested, and called her mean names, yet no one ever called these Democrats racist ‘cause they were liberals. As we know, liberals can never be racist.  But the president of this university didn’t hate Big Rice enough to ban her, even though the Democrats knew she was a bad girl.

Now we turn to Little Rice. She went to work for another man, but this man only believed in nice ideas. He never did any bad things, so little Rice was happy. But then, she was caught telling lies for this man.

He said that the Benghazi attack was the fault of some bad man who made an unkind video about Mohammad. The problem is that this video didn’t cause the attack.

But this big man knew the truth can be ignored if you don’t like it, so he made up his own facts for little Rice to say.

Even though some mean Republicans got angry at the lies little Rice told, she was safe. She moved to a shiny, new job.

Meanwhile, all of Little Rice’s friends on TV called the mean Republicans racist for getting mad at Little Rice. And we all know we don’t have to listen to racist people, right Johnny?”

BOOK CLOSES AS FATHER GOES TO TURN OFF THE LIGHT

“But Daddy, why were the Republican’s racist when they got mad at Little Rice but the Democrats weren’t racist for getting mad at Big Rice?” asked Johnny.

“There is no easy answer to that, son. You will understand when you are older”.

“But Daddy, I don’t want to get older if that means I have to call people racist just because they are on one side of a fight”.

“That’s just how the world works, son. Goodnight.”