The Self and the Other

Living Life in the World of the Faux-Social Individual

This is the individual’s world, or so we’re taught. We make our own decisions. Well, we’re actually taught that neurons make all our decisions based on Pavlovian circumstance, but either way: we believe in the individual’s right to choose. It’s the American way: individuals in a Hobbesian nature doing their best not to stab each other over capital. Despite how wonderful all that individual-absorbed backstabbing is, the last few months have taught me the value of moving between the solace of self-reflection and the invigoration of group interaction in a world dominated by people alone on computers.

I’ve had roommates for most of the last 2 years. But only during the last 3 months can I say I have lived with the same roommate almost completely non-stop with no weeklong, school-granted breaks. And here’s the thing: sleeping in the same room with a person for several months on end teaches one the value of alone time and self-reflection. I’m a relatively outgoing fellow. I like people; I like making them laugh and smile. But people need time on their own. Sure it’s a cliché, but it’s true. Pensiveness is the activity of the mind. When the mouth is flapping away outside some Lokal in Germany, the brain is probably taking a break from serious inquiry. And that soul searching is important, especially in a world where most of our time is spent walking among the faceless masses, cell phones against our ears and unpronounceable quasi-coffee substitute beverages in our hands.

At the same time, too much alone time isn’t good. Sure we can relax and think and whatnot when we’re alone, but we’re necessarily social creatures. In the past, I’ve gone into periods of aggressive hibernation in which I cut off most contact with the outside world. It’s usually healthy at first, but within a few days some form of soul-crippling angst sets in and I need the world to restore my waning sanity.
So what’s the point of exploring this cliché? Well, I’ve taken the time to do so primarily because we live in a world that increasingly prizes the individual despite the fact that we spend our lives among others. We sit in cubicles all day, perhaps occasionally making small talk with Workerbot X78S (codename: Stan), but mostly dawdling on our computers. We go home, engage in obligatory interaction with the family units and then retreat into our computers or our televisions or our television shows on our computers. On weekends we get together with friends just to sit around a table at Starbucks, phones out, texting other friends about the hypothetical fun we could be having. These last few weeks have taught me the need to restore a focus on the value of community, on the value of time together. We need to stop being coffee-guzzling, individualist masses of brain matter and start remembering the value of one another, of the other.