Whence Rape Culture?

My friend once told me a story. He was on a New York City subway in the early hours of the morning when he saw a man repeatedly make advances to a girl who clearly showed him no interest. He bothered her until two very drunk girls got on the subway. At the last second, he ran after the inebriated girls as they got off the train. My friend has no idea what happened.

Keep that in mind. Also keep in mind that I’m sympathetic to my contemporaries who stand up against our culture of sexual assault and general violence. Feminists or otherwise, they work against something as insidious as it is ancient: rape. Nothing that follows is intended as an attack, but merely a critique.

Victim blaming is a problem. It’s a problem because it marginalizes and mocks those who were already marginalized and mocked. A distinction must be made, however: to say that a victim is responsible for her rape is entirely, entirely different from saying she should try to be more careful in certain circumstances. As in the above scenario, I don’t know whether any kind of sexual assault was committed, but we’d be silly to think alcohol and drugs don’t often play a part in these things. It’s no excuse, but our attempts to reform rape culture must also involve some kind of attack on our youth drinking culture: and this is coming from a young adult who drinks!

The response is often that it apologizes for the rapists: but does it? I see it as recognizing that rapists exist. Is telling someone not to wander alone drunk through New York City at night apologizing for their mugger if they get mugged? I would say not.

The reality is that most rapes are not someone popping out of the bushes and assaulting a woman. They’re, more often than not, perpetrated by someone the victim knows, possibly because both are drunk, possibly because only one is drunk, or possibly just because one has a horribly disordered lust. Regardless, to treat rape culture requires us to treat our culture. And that is why, although I stand by those making efforts to stop this kind of abuse, I must call out to them: we cannot change a without changing b; we cannot change rape culture without changing our culture.